PROJECT MOTIVATION:

This morning I put on my tight fitting spandex body girdle, sucked in my gut, and picked up my size 36-30 non-stretch classic Rustler blue jeans and slipped them on. I tried at least five times to button them at the top but failed. Then, I finally did get them buttoned. There is no way I could bend over and pick anything up off of the floor or sit down in a chair, but they were buttoned. I tried to zip them. No such luck. I wanted it so bad I could taste it. That was my motivation for today.

After that, I thought that wearing my size 14 stretchy jeans would be a cynch to wear for the rest of the day, so I put them on. That is what I am wearing today. I can even sit down in them without unsnapping the top button. Four months ago I would not have been able to even zip them up. Four months ago, a side veiw of me had my belly sticking out further than my breasts no matter how much I sucked in my gut. Now I have breasts that can be seen. That is my encouraging thought.

I have not been an obsessed shredder and I don’t particularly like to work-out. I have not lost massive amounts of weight like some of you incredible shredders, but I’m still hanging in there and working on my health, fitness and overall project of building of a better body. Like all of my projects, I take my time and keep moving. It is a lot better than standing still or going backwards. If you move forward with your goals at least you are moving forward. You will be surprised how much you will accomplish within a year, as long as you keep moving.

My new kitty, Tabitha, (agent 114) was keeping an eye on Mom and Dad for me yesterday while I was at the computer. I snapped a picture of her watching my Daddy-cam.

TIME MANAGEMENT: Do you have time to do that?

There is working on the computer and there is wasting time on the computer. Today I spent about two hours wasting time on the computer. Now I don’t consider any time I spend on the Shreddersphere as a waste of time, but there are other ways to waste time on the computer.

I am saying this to bring up the idea that I need to start logging what I spend my time on and evaluating whether or not it has been spent productively. Orders from the council. STOP WASTING TIME.

Yesterday I worked on my design project: Not a waste of time. This morning, posting to various online community forums: Probably a waste of time that could better be spent elsewhere. The question becomes: What did you actually accomplish in regards to your list of things to do?

Today is my first day in this new effort to track my time and activities and evaluate them for what was accomplished. (Wish me luck.) Remember, we all have 24 hours in a day. Nobody has any less or any more time than another person. You are in charge of how you spend your time, no one else is. If you are not in charge, then you better take a good look at who is running your life.

To recap my TMJ problem and treatment, it started with a dental appointment to have my teeth deep cleaned. I was given a shot with pain killer into my jaw and spent about two hours in the dental chair. It seemed to me like my jaw was never the same after that. I thought it was just the effects of the shot in my jaw. After about two weeks it was not any better and just kept getting worse and I was having a problem even getting a straw into my mouth without pain. I could not open my mouth. I did not know what the problem was, but several people mentioned TMJ. I did not know what that was. Wikipedia says this about it:

Temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJD, TMJ or TMD), or TMJ syndrome, is an umbrella term covering acute or chronic inflammation of the temporomandibular joint, which connects the mandible to the skull.

When my sister Karen told me my jaw was out and that I needed to see a chiropractor; I thought maybe I could pop it back in myself, (bad idea) so one night I opened my mouth real wide forcing it open and I heard something tear or pop. It was very painful. Then a huge knot raised up on my temple and I panicked thinking my brain was about to explode or something.

A trip to the emergency room and a cat scan revealed there was no infection on that side. They did not see anything wrong with my jaw and did not know what the knot was. So much for traditional medicine. At least they ruled out my brain exploding and infection.

They sent me home with some prescriptions for pain and antibiotics for an abscess they discovered on the left side of my mouth that has been there for years. It is a sealed abscess in a dead tooth and does not give me any problem so I did not buy their expensive antibiotics which would have set me back a hundred or more dollars. Neither did I buy the pain pills which were Celebrex because I told him I can’t take Codeine and other related pain killers. The Celebrex is also hugely expensive. I can deal with the pain using Aleve.

I am now feeling stressed and desperate as to how I am going to get this fixed so I turn to the Internet for information. Thank God for the Internet. I had learned the common term for the problem from several people during the course of my experience. They kept saying “Oh you have TMJ.” I had never heard of that before. I looked it up and found a lot of great information about it and that the best treatment is physical therapy and chiropractic adjustment and there are even exercises to correct the condition. I ordered a book recommended by a woman who had a website about her own TMJ problem and how she corrected it completely.

I got an appointment with a Kinesiologist in my area and so far I have had two treatments from him. I am making gradual improvements and on the road to recovery and starting to feel more normal again. My mouth still does not open as wide as it should but it is working better already. The knot has gone down a lot and the bruise on my chin is fading. I am sleeping on a water pillow that supports my head and I love it. My neck on the opposite side of the jaw problem is very tight and stiff since the adjustments but I am working it with some stretching exercises.

I did not go back to see the doctor who ordered the cat scan and prescribed the expensive drugs. I don’t think he can help me. I remember a time when chiropractic medicine was looked on as quackery. I am very thankful there are good chiropractors who can help you when traditional medical professionals say “we can’t find anything wrong” or “we don’t know what is wrong” or “It may require surgery.”

Yes this chiropractor took x-rays and that was not cheap, but I would have been throwing my money away on those expensive drugs the medical doctor had prescribed. There are cheaper generic drugs out there but for some reason he prescribed the most expensive drugs possible and he knew I was on a limited income with no insurance.

Here are some before and after pictures, after two adjustments from the chiropractor.

I guess we all have good days and bad days and I have been having a few bad ones, but I asked the inner council to assign an investigator to find out why. This is a serious problem.

The investigator found pain.

Pain has a way of making me want to just curl up and do nothing and not move even if I am not all that conscious of the pain. Pain also drains my energy and makes me feel exhausted. I had been ignoring the pain. Sometimes when we have pain we tend to shrink from it and just ignore it rather than address it.

The first pain I found of course was the one I was aware of in my jaw. That was effecting my attitude, which instead of being grateful that I was getting my teeth taken care of at a great discount rate at that clinic, I was feeling aggravated because I was having a hard time opening my mouth to eat. Next, I found pain in my feet and toes which usually mean the end result of my spinal alignment being out or some other problem that was interrupting my flow of energy. Then I found areas under stress on my hips. I applied pressure and massage to them, and it gave me great relief and released a flow of energy to my legs. I could use a good massage or chiropractor. I like massage better, but for now, my own massaging of those painful areas is really helping and is all I can do.

It seems like we naturally shrink from pain instead of addressing it head on. Ignoring a problem will not correct it. But the pain was draining my energy and restricting my movement. I did not want to exercise and I could not find the energy to do so.

Now that my inner investigator has discovered the problem, I intend to address it directly. I will massage my hips and do some stretching and moving. I also drank a 5-hour energy supplement this morning which has a lot of vitamin B in it to see if some of my energy will return. I got through my 5 rites but they were difficult and I did not do 21 of each one. Maybe I will do them again this evening. This first 9 days of mission 2 have not seen much progress in shredding pounds. It is amazing how fast time seems to pass when you are moving slow. Time also passes when every day is too routine. I need to put some variety in each day so that when I look back on my week I see more than the same day every day.
I must make a point to lead a more exciting and eventful life in order to monitor my mental machinery. Are you in a rut? Sometimes I feel like I am. Lean 57 mentioned that I might be bored. There could be some truth in that, because when I am excited about some creative project I am never bored and I am very active even if I am in pain, I just keep going and going.

So the treatment I am going to give myself is to address the pain, treat it, and get interested in and excited about a project that will take me out of this bored state of mind and into action. This is what the power of the WILL is for. It is the power to consciously direct your attention to something of your own choice. It is the power of decision and direction. Instead of just plodding through the day, I must take the lead and direct my thoughts and actions to something interesting and to solving problems instead of ignoring them and vegging out watching CSI.

At least that is what the nag told me. Welcome back Nag!

My Inner Nag Psyche

Mission 2 will be a 90 day mission. I will begin mission 2 my day 101 which is Wednesday, August 12th. That way I won’t get so mixed up on what mission day I am on. My current day 101 will be day 1 of mission 2 and so forth.

Mission 2 will divided into 9 ten day mini missions rather than 7 day weeks. I will have two rest days inside each ten day mini mission.

M2-1 August 12 to 21
M2-2 August 21 to 31
M2-3 September 1 to 10
M2-4 September 11 to 20
M2-5 September 21 to 30
M2-6 October 1 to 10
M2-7 October 11 to 20
M2-8 October 21-30
M2-9 October 31 to Nov. 9th

My goal is to loose between 27 and 32 pounds which is about 3-3.5 pounds for each ten day mini mission. My target weight is 160 by November 31.

M2-1: First ten days: Body alignment exercises, plus low impact cardio : The five rites, yoga, walking, squats, stretching, abs, and home strength training exercises like wall push-ups and resistance ban pull downs. Weight goal for the end of m2-1 is 186 pounds.

Taking the “before” pictures.

I lost 15 pounds on my first mission and now I am on another mission of 90 days where my goal is to lose 30 pounds. Here are the before pictures for mission 2.

So today I did some more before pictures according to the recommendations of P-90X using their poses. Here are some smaller versions below. I am taking them to help me see my progress more than to post them on my blogs. I have larger versions on my computer.

I lowered the camera angle a little more to eliminate a little more foreshortening. Since I took these at night, the color was off so I adjusted the light and color in my paint program and sharpened the picture. I’m not trying to take ‘flattering’ pictures I am just trying to take accurate ones so I can track my progress better.

I can look at my pictures and see what needs to be worked on, like the flabby underarms etc.
This first mini mission is not an intense work out mission, it is more of a ‘getting ready warm up’ mission. As much as I would like to jump in there and get it done fast I know that is not how I like to work. I am a slow starter. I want to do it right. I haven’t started weight training yet, so there is not likely going to be many changes in my pictures in three days.

Now I must take some time to revisit my PRW’s and get all fired up. I can feel doubts creeping in like, “Can I do this?” I fear that I am so lazy or too busy to work out enough and I fear I am not disciplined enough keep my diet on track. I don’t know if I want to spend a lot of money on heart rate monitors or calorie burning gadgets. They are so pricey. I would like to have them, but that’s a lot of money to spend.

Mission one has been a learning experience as far all this weight lifting and body building stuff is concerned and I felt like a fish out of water most of the time but I managed to get through it with the help and support of Adam Waters and the Shreddersphere and I lost quite a few dress sizes and 15 pounds. Best of all I feel more energetic.

My philosophy for this mission was to ease into it slowly and carefully, but there were a few times I got in a hurry and careless and incurred a couple of injuries which served as a valuable lesson for me. Safety first and go at my own pace seemed to pay off. Now that I am feeling fit and more energetic, I will embark on another 84 day mission.

My entire journey and daily pictures have been logged on The Shreddersphere. which is a members only support group for the RTP transformation system designed by Adam Waters.

Here are some before and after pictures of my first transformation.  You have not seen anything yet,  come back here and check on my progress.

Today for the first time in a long time my mind-body consciousness seemed to revisit the past and I felt like ‘myself.’ The feeling is a bit hard to explain. For quite a while I have been feeling more like ‘someone else.” I felt like the ’fat person’ of the alternate future I was headed for. I had been taking on the persona of the ‘Fat Fran Foley’ character I have mentioned in my earlier blogs. My body I.D had been changing its image of SELF to this fat older person that I was slowly becoming.

It was not until this morning when I got up that I felt different. I felt more like my former self. It was like I had turned back time or I had went back into the past were I am younger and weigh less. I feel like I have turned a corner and I am becoming a younger, thinner, healthier person.
I have found the fountain of youth and that is what Tom Venuto says that his program is. Proper diet and exercise and positive youthful thinking is the true fountain of youth. All I can say is that it is working.

I got on the scales and they read 192. Two more pounds and I reach 190. Then its on to the next milestone. With each pound I shred, I feel different. I don’t know about anyone else but I can feel it when I loose even a half pound. I feel lighter and thinner and I have more energy every day. I am reclaiming my youthful energy. Now I will place my mind further back to about 20 years ago when I was 130 pounds and keep it there as I continue my journey towards a slimmer and more youthful person.

I believe the fountain of youth is within.

That is the plan, to drop from size 22 on day one, May 4th to size 16 by day 57.  Progress so far, at day 34 I am wearing size 18 jeans.  Only have two sizes and a few inches to go.  Here are the pictures:

Trying on size 16 jeans June 5th

Size 22 P jeans May 4th

Wearing size 18 Jeans May 31

Like a butterfly, I have always flitted from one thing to another. So what makes me think that I will stick to my commitment to shredding my excess pounds and to my health and well-being?

Because this is my life. This is the rest of my life. This transformation is something I have been contemplating and planning for more years than I want to admit.

It has been my vision of the future since before I was over weight and out of shape. This is a true story. Years ago I envisioned that I would let myself go, and get out of shape and then around this age, make an incredible transformation, not only to a thinner healthier body but one that looks 20 or 30 years younger.

For the past few years I have been attempting to begin that transformation, body mind and soul, but all the pieces were not in place yet. In the mean while I researched things that cause aging, and things that might help to reverse aging.

I had a friend who was in his 40’s who had a massive heart attack. He survived it but it gave him such a scare that he changed his whole lifestyle. I saw him six months later and he looked 20 or more years younger. I was fascinated. I asked him what he was doing. He was eating clean and exercising. He had lost weight yes, but he also looked younger and felt younger.

This is when I realized that so-called aging can be reversed and you can extend your life through proper diet and exercise. But that is just part of it.

As Tom Venuto and Adam Waters teaches in this  shredder  course,  you have to get your head on right.

Its not just about loosing fat and eating better, but about everything in your life.   It is about your thinking and your lifestyle.

In my search, I discovered five things that contribute most to aging. I am going to reveal these five things here for you shredders. They are, in order of their importance:

1. The thoughts that you think.

2. The air that your breathe.

3. The water that you drink.

4. The food that you eat.

5. Exercise.

Given these five things, over the years I have taken steps to follow this guideline.

Think good thoughts and think about what you want, not about what you don’t want. Think Love, compassion, kindness, joy, gratitude.

Live deliberately and be conscious of the consequences of your choices.

Air you breathe: It goes without saying, don’t smoke. Do deep breathing exercises and cardio for moving your breath.

If you read the book “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins one of the things he pushes most is deep breathing. The breath moves nutrition to your cells, and your body will feel less hungry.

You can loose weight just by deep breathing.

The water that you drink:  Drink enough water. Pure water is best, but if it has no minerals at all you can sprinkle a bit of sea salt in it to get electrolytes.

Eat real food.  Unprocessed food, healthy food. We all know what that is thanks to people like Tom Venuto who tell people the truth.

Exercise:  If you don’t use it, well you will loose it. Cardio exercises burn fat because it gets you to breathe.

This is the basic outline for reverse aging and staying young. Do you still plague your body with stinking negative thinking and your lungs with smoke? Do you drink enough water? Do you eat good foods? Do you get enough exercise? If you are work on living consciously and deliberately, keeping your goal in mind, you will make the right choices every moment of your day.

Do you have a plan?  Are you willing to make a promise to your body?

Looking back at the last ten years I have been carrying around an extra 50 or 60 pounds holding pretty steady at 175 to 190. I was thinking that if I had just lost and kept off five pounds per year I would be at a pretty decent place today.

To add to that,  if I had been exercising and strength training and eating clean… there is no telling what the results would look like.  Time zooms by so fast in the complicated and busy realities that we create for ourselves and we indulge in things like laying in a recliner and watching reruns on television while snacking on Twinkies or corn chips in a total state of unconscious.

We procrastinate. We indulge. We get lazy. We joke about our love handles. And we whine and complain and want to be accepted for “who we are” and not judged by others who discriminated against us because we are fat, lazy or overweight.

Well who were we then? We were people who took our life for granted and disrespected the amazing body we live in. We were people who don’t use the power of our will to turn off the television and put down the Twinkies and go for a walk in the fresh air. We were victims of our own ignorance of what to eat and how to stay in shape. We tried and failed. We gave up.

And we want people to respect us for that?

My future life depends on the decisions I make today. I made a commitment, that no matter how long it takes, I am going to treat my beautiful perfect body with the respect it deserves.

Just five measly pounds per year was all it would have taken. Ten years spent trashing my body.  I am ashamed.

So now I  ask my body for forgiveness.  Now I promise that I will treat you with respect and give you the nourishment and exercise you need. You have served me so well, all of my life. I have taken that for granted.  I now promise to serve, pamper and nourish you. You are the temple where my heart and soul resides. I am grateful for you. You are a marvel!

I love my body so now I am going to reshape it.  Here is the plan:

Create a Plan for your transformation

I am on day 17 of my body transformation with the Shredders and things are falling into place one day at a time.  I have a lot of organizing and reading to do;  not to mention perfecting and learning the art of strength training.

With blogs, posting, exercising, web site updating, I have not had time to do any oil painting or house cleaning. Time management is in order.  I have a book called Time management for idiots but I haven’t had time to read it yet. Well, I glanced at it and it seemed like a stupid waste of time.

Anyway, here is my progress picture for day 17.  Pounds lost: 6, Waist inches lost, 4.

Pounds lost: 6 Waist inches lost: 4